#my thoughts will be more coherent in the morning
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kikuwaters · 2 days ago
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Morning and night aren’t really a thing at the lighthouse. The Fade exists both nowhere and everywhere at once, which makes it all the worse when Lucanis can’t tell if it’s dawn or dusk. Not that it mattered. Not when he wakes with a terrible ache in ways that weren't entirely physical. He doesn’t need to guess; Spite was out again.  
A faint sound pulls his attention, and he turns his head toward it. He freezes, holding his breath when his eyes fall on DK. Of course... he begins to think, disgust twisting his lip at the sight of the necromancer by his coffee pot. He begins to dismiss him, to look away, but something gives him pause. His brows furrow as he truly looks at DK for the first time that morning.  
DK stands with his back to him, head tilted slightly as though lost in thought. His gaze is fixed on a spot beyond the room itself, looking at nothing at all really. His posture, normally easy and self-assured, is slouched, his shoulders drawn in as though under some immense, invisible weight.
His long white fingers move with surprising care, tenderly placing the Antivan grounds into a cloth for the drip. Lucanis’s eyes trace the dull red tattoos trailing up DK’s arms, crawling all the way up under his neck and onto his chin.
But it’s his face that holds Lucanis in place.  
The sharp, teasing lines of DK’s usual smirk were gone, replaced by something hollow and unguarded. His expression holds no trace of his playful demeanor. His hands work the coffee drip, but his normally bright green eyes stare through it, appearing dulled and unfocused. Dark circles are carved under his eyes, hollowing out his features and making him appear hauntingly like the dead he so often communicates with.
Lucanis swallows hard, any sharp comment dying in his throat. The sight unsettles him in ways he can’t explain, and for a fleeting moment, he considers pretending he hasn’t seen this stripped version of DK at all. But before he can stop himself, the words slip out. 
“...DK?”  
His voice is soft and hesitant, breaking the stillness of the room like a child at his parents door at night. 
DK startles at the sound, his gaze returning back to the room and towards Lucanis. His eyes lock onto him, sharp and startling—and in an instant, the playful mask is back. That hollow expression vanishes, replaced by DK’s familiar, infuriating smile.  
“My apologies, Lucanis!” DK purrs, turning back to the coffee drip with ease. “Usually you’re asleep for a little while longer after Spite leaves.”
Lucanis licks his dry lips, struggling to gather a coherent thought from the many swirling about in his head. “What.. are you doing..” he finally manages, clumsy and unsure
“Oh, just starting your coffee,” DK replies casually, as if this was the most normal thing in the world for them. He turns toward the door, denying Lucanis any chance to comment on that further. “Rest up, now. I'll see you later!” 
DK’s tone is light, almost teasing, but as he reaches the doorway, Lucanis catches it again. The smile drops. The light leaves his face. For a fleeting moment, DK looked exactly as he had before Lucanis spoke. Empty.. Worn down to something raw and unrecognizable.  
Lucanis stares after him, his chest tightening inexplicably. He can’t explain why, but that expression, that absence of the man’s usual laugh, is what makes him, for the first time ever, want to ask DK to stay.  
He simply watches instead as the door clicks shut, the room falling silent once more.
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isolarya · 5 months ago
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hear me out. lost gods scarian fic. do I write it.
sand in the ticking gears
the one left in the ashes, watching, waiting
a wandering traveller
a memory of a summer night
loved you in another life
we are not the same
can't we go back?
there is a world where we work. its not this one
we were human once
just reach through the mirror
haunted by the ghost of you
burn the world down with me
come back
stay?
all the world's a stage
we can choose how this story ends
you'll be there to catch me
the fire sings a song of the end
dance with me
just some thoughts about them.
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theneighborhoodwatch · 10 months ago
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my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “homewarming party” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd.
me: yeah whatever man. i don’t feel shit.
5 minutes later: dude i swear this is just remderem
my buddy eddie white knuckle gripping the armrests: i think i need to go home
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dan-whoell · 7 months ago
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idk im just thinking about the phrase we know you know and the more... interactive they've been with us recently. like they keep giving us chances to say things on the channel even though they know exactly what we're going to do.
also the way some people think they don't like us (feeling pressure to come out bc of shipping etc) or the 'you cant say that it makes them uncomfortable' kind of thing- and yet they keep giving us the mic, telling us how funny we are, how much they love us. they know we know and they are quite literally giving us a platform to say it.
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phagodyke · 2 months ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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zukkaoru · 2 years ago
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family line, conan gray || jujutsu kaisen chapter 219 || antigone, tr. anne carson || flu game, fall out boy
my thoughts on the latest chapter [id in alt text]
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timeless-orchid · 2 months ago
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did anyone else.... not really like the vengeance saga? it just felt a bit underwhelming and a bit too much at the same time 🫤
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m3llowm1sh · 11 months ago
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mish’s relationships with the rd cast
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anewp0tat0 · 2 years ago
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Chapter 198
I've wanted a Christmas filler chapter for a while, just because I think it would have some great phantomfam interactions + some snide comments from Sebastian about how useless God is or whatever he likes to brag about... but I know we may never get that, so I am over the moon with this image here. this is all I need😫 Ciel's scarf bow is our Christmas present.
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and Ciel gets a muff too FINALLY☺️. it seems that once again yana really doesn't care about the fact that she's giving him predominantly female gendered clothing for the time era(as far as I know), but when has she ever cared. let's just congratulate Sebastian on his good parenting and feminism. or rather in this case, traditional values?.... mhm
it's just adorable.
...
we also got weird interactions like this:
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yea Theo knows. and he angry. the real question is if in the end, he'll help the others escape their fledging day(most likely O!ciel's aptitude) or simply work to save himself(most likely R!ciel's aptitude).
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finny is the best possible boy though, and who knows maybe this will all be solved by the power of friendship and Theo will ultimately put his trust in team O!ciel. that would be great!
...
;_;
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this truly makes me so upset, it's not fair for Mabel to feel anything other than bittersweetness that her friend is leaving, rather than agony. same goes for everyone else.
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....
these 2 kids are strong and it's is pretty odd, but I guess when compared to other characters like Jane, it's not too surprising...
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maybe Doll gave them circus training, who knows. Mabel most likely, since Doll spends most time with her group, at least I'm assuming from the clothes.
also, I'm not a knife expert but those look like something they probably just plucked from the kitchen. if doll is with them, she isn't giving them special weapons like Layla owned. that's probably just a kitchen knife the "collie class" have access to.
...
honestly, I've tried so far to be very suspicious and hostile towards these kids in the hope that they'll get to walk away into the sunset like the possible side antagonists they are. but really, I'm just very much hoping that they don't end up going through any pain. I don't want any more serious moments where children cry, please...
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so the ambush, why did this happen: I'm guessing that these kids don't just guarding the hallway regularly, and they just so happened to run into Finny today. my guess is that they knew/found out that Finny would sneak around(probably with Doll's insight? cause this is his first night!) and quickly prepared for him. but most importantly, they must know one way or another that the orphanage staff(or Doll?) is prepared to kill Finny soon.
what's most surprising to me is that these kids want Finny alive. idk about the other kids, but I think plenty of us assumed that Theo would rather have Finny(and snake) disposed of. so either I was wrong, or what's going on here is a manipulation scheme where Theo makes Finny think that he's in danger, simply so that he can use him. this makes more sense to me because if both Finny and Snake were in immediate danger, they would probably wake up Snake, too. after all, Theo is a pomeranian, he could think of such a thing. in this case the kids may be working for Doll.
if however this isn't a scheme and instead a genuine attempt to help finny and Snake, then they probably aren't working with Doll, since she probably wouldn't want to sneak them into the inner working of the facility.
ah idk, well find out next chapter. or, the whole next chapter will be spent walking to the meet up room. maybe finny will start flashbacks right there right now. who knows.
where should I place my bets, that these kids are gonna take Finny back to some secret hide out room(possible blood drawing), or are they gonna take him back to where Doll is cause they're working with her...
...
also, it's really interesting how these two stay in "character" right here, both in the typical pose of the person/role they're mocking.
...
actually you know what, Theo probably figured that Finny was worth being recruited after this right here:
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sorry, long post today, lots to worry about, and if you read all this then you mean the world to me! have a great day!
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s4pphic-sh3nan1gans · 3 months ago
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absolutely fucking sobbed in therapy again and then just to really stick the knife in, everybody's waiting came up on shuffle when I was on the bus home and I started crying again 😭
anyways, I told myself if bluza premieres on the radio like šta bih ja I would wait until its official release this time, but then I thought fuck it I deserve it and need something else to focus on.
so I just listened to it, and I'm crying again (good tears this time... I think 😭) akshsjbsnsbs it's such a pretty song and I'm afraid my words aren't wording anymore, BUT... I love it 🥹 <3
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im-sorry-what-ii · 1 year ago
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MY THOUGHTS ON HOW THE ORIGINAL SONG TAKE ON ME BY A-HA  AND THE MTV UNPLUGGED VERSION PARALLEL TOP GUN AND TOP GUN MAVERICK (blame @blazingstar29 for enabling me)
more under the cut bc its a bit long🫠
ok we all know take on me right? the upbeat 1985 song with the really cool music video. iconic. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914&ab_channel=a-ha)
right so five years ago a-ha did an mtv unplugged version which i advise you to listen to bc its so inCREDIBLY GOOD I CANNOT. it takes every thing that makes the og song perfect and twists it into something that captures the essence of the original but mature and sad, like looking back at the past. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xKM3mGt2pE&ab_channel=ahaVEVO)
so
my reasons for why the og 1985 version parallels top gun
80s. basic but true. 
good looking guys. also basic. also true. promise it gets more in depth
the whole vibe of the take on me video is upbeat. happy. theyre dancing around, its half animated but with pencil drawings like a teen would doodle on school books, its carefree, its goofy, its all over the place. 
the music is also upbeat and happy, it makes you wanna dance and get up and vibe
combining video, music and lyrics, the song is about being young. its about being alive, having your whole life ahead of you. taking on the world, being young and in your prime and prepared to give it your all. its happy, its looking forward to the future but enjoying and loving the now. its having options, choice and freedom, to live your life how you want to. 
this is what top gun is at heart. its about being young and in your prime, competing, living life to the fullest. its energy, motivation, but in the end its also growing up. its seeing the worst life can do to you (goose) and recognising it but moving on, finding comfort in your youth and letting go of your responsibilites. 
its the beauty of life, of strength and just the general vibe of the 80s. friendship and love and loss and the beauty of being young. its saying ‘i have my whole life left to live, and nothing can stop me’ 
to understand the next part, i kinda like to thing of the ‘85 version as the soundtrack of top gun. its the 86ers song, its their vibe.
and this ones probably got more to it, my reasons why the unplugged version parallels top gun maverick
modern times. basic again
we gotta focus on the actual musicians now. its the same guys singing, just 40 years older. the same song, just looking back instead of forward. by changing the key and tempo of the song, theyve created a whole new vibe. same lyrics, same guitar, just slower. sadder. they've calmed down, lost some of their energy
the unplugged versions looks back on a life well lived instead of forwards, to a life ahead. its reflecting on all the bad things that have happened and accepting them
in the end, theyre both about acceptance. this is very important. both versions of the song are about accepting everything that life has to offer, everywhere that life can or has taken you. ‘slowly learning that life is ok’
except, where ‘85 version is eagerly accepting and awaiting, unplugged is sadder. not regretful, just sadder. more thoughtful. theyre older, wiser, they recognise how life has changed them, for better or worse. they dont regret their life (its no better to be safe than sorry), they just see what it as it is. lived. over. theyre out of their prime, its a new generation now. 
but at the same time, its also rebellion. theyre old, not dead, they still have fight left in them (take on me, take me on). theyre still standing, a few decades hasnt changed that. 
now tell me, am i describing Take On Me (MTV Unplugged) or Top Gun: Maverick? 
mav regrets pulling gooses papers, but theres nothing he can do about it now. he has to accept life for what it is. he has to accept ice is dying, that hes dead. he has to accept hes old. and rooster has to accept life for what it is too. he needs to realise the past is in the past, the carole and goose are gone and mav is all he has left. Mav pulled his papers. There's nothing he can do about it now
top gun maverick is about growing up, getting old, how life changes a person. its seeing how everyone around you is older, no longer in their prime. the younger generation has centre stage now, but youre still there. your still fighting. youve made mistakes, youve fucked up but your still here bc thats how life works. You're quieter, the background to their lead, but you're still there
think of it as a cycle. in every movie theres an older generation, and a younger generation. the top gun movies focus on one of those generations, following them from young to old, and the song changes with them. 
the 86ers song is take on me, and it follows them, adapting with them. 
now we’re getting a bit more far fetched, but lets say the ‘22 teams song is i aint worried. its got a similar vibe to take on me, but with a 2020s twist instead of 80s synth pop. its carefree, they literally aint worried. its happy, its upbeat, it makes you wanna dance.
now we look at these songs in contrast. take on me unplugged and i aint worried are playing side by side, the older and younger generations. once upon a time, take on me had the same vibe but its grown up. and one day, i aint worried will have the same fate
one day, i aint worried will be an old timey song, the same nostalgic vibe as the og take on me has now, the same vibe as top gun has now. bc top gun is retro, its 80s. rn, tgm is new, its fancy, but it wont always be
its a cycle. its a fucking cycle. the same thing was going on in top gun 86, but with viper/jester and ice/mav/everyone else. we just dont see it, bc we're only focusing on one generation. they all parallel each other. if we we're focusing on the ‘22 team, mav and cyclone would be their viper and jester. old, important but not really. old-fashioned, out of date. but we’re not. its the 86ers story, so their song changes with them, and its what we get to see.
thank you for coming to my ted talk!! i may have gotten a bit off track towards the end there and had an existential crisis but enjoy :)
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torgawl · 1 year ago
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the more we discover about dion's father and anabella the more i'm happy dion impaled the shit out of that motherfucker and the more frustrated i become anabella got an easy death by killing herself. not that i expected clive or joshua to do anything because i don't think they're those types of people but it would have been satisfying to me
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outoftheirdifferences · 1 year ago
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So. You know when you find one particular bit of writing advice that, when you consider it regarding your character, makes you realise that you've been trying to tell entirely the wrong story with them?
And as soon as you figure that out, pretty much EVERYTHING else falls into place, and it's just like
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lightblueminecraftorchid · 1 year ago
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Soooooooooo guess who started crying in the doctor’s office bc she has to miss her labs tomorrow
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im-not-a-joke · 1 year ago
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Aziraphale loves his husband SO MUCH but he also has this sense of duty and debt and love for the earth that he puts that above his chance to run away w crowley but also like I don’t actually believe that either of the would be happy running away and abandoning earth because they care about it so much and they put so much effort in and :((((
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dollfacefantasy · 2 months ago
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kinktober day 20 - size kink jason todd x fem!reader cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, size kink, tummy bulge
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"That's it, baby. Take it all. Oh, look at you go. Being so brave for me."
On the surface the words are soothing, but the tone of Jason's voice fills each syllable with condescension. Not in a bad way. The sickly sweet lilt strikes the perfect chord that has you wetter than any body of water on this earth.
Your hips rise and fall in measure rolls, your cunt embracing his thick cock with every motion. You have to take it slow. Otherwise, you feel like you'll tear yourself in half.
"Jay…" you whimper, lip wobbling and eyes gleaming with the need for him to coddle you, "You're so…"
A sharp whine from your throat cuts off your own words. Your head tilts back and then hangs forward. His tip brushes your sweet spot every time you sink down on him. It makes it nearly impossible to remain coherent. You'd never met somebody who could make you malfunction like this.
"I'm so what?" he coos, prompting you to finish your statement. He already knew the words on the tip of your tongue, but he still wanted to hear them spoken into the drafty air of your apartment.
"You're so big," you choke out.
Another moan falls from your lips before you grit your teeth. Your face scrunches up in tandem with your walls clenching around his length. Vaguely, you hear him chuckle. He then pulls you close and cradles you against his chest.
"And you like that, don't you?" he whispers.
He slumps further down on the couch. His feet press hard against the smooth wooden floor beneath the two of you. The muscles in his thighs flex as he begins to pump his hips up and down. You whine and clutch at his meaty bicep, melting against his warm skin and letting him do all the work right now.
You nearly forget he asked a question at all until he continues speaking.
"I know you do, doll. You like that when you're with me, you're helpless. Don't have to think. Don't have to move. Don't have to do anything but let me use this sweet, little pussy till I'm satisfied," he says.
Your toes curl, your thighs clamping around his own. The pressure doesn't stop him from moving though, not in the slightest. You inhale sharply before nodding against his neck. Of course, you like this. You love it.
You could never get enough of Jason's body. You'd study it forever if he let you. Your pupils felt magnetized whenever they had the chance to drift along his chiseled torso or mentally map the pathways of his scars. Adoration wasn't a strong enough word for how you felt in regards to his figure. Obsession seemed more appropriate.
Fortunately for you, Jason behaved much the same about your body.
In the mornings when he thought sleep still had a strong hold on you, he'd run his fingers over every curve he could find. He'd knead the swell of your ass and press tender kisses between your shoulder blades. As you'd start to wake, he'd wrap his hands around your waist and nearly pop a boner right then and there from how large they looked in comparison.
His favorite thing in the world after a long grueling patrol fast became coming home to you. Not even thirty minutes with your delicate body washed away all the stress caused by hard and rough people he dealt with beyond these walls. Some nights he'd prop your dainty legs over his broad shoulders and dive into your slippery cunt. Other nights he'd get right down to it, shoving his fat cock inside you and watching your belly bulge with the intrusion.
Tonight hadn't been either of those. He'd been home for a change. But having you curled up to his side and pressed against him while he read a book got him worked up pretty fast. It wasn't his fault the two of you just seemed to fit so naturally together.
"My good girl. Soft and sweet all for me," he praises as he continues fucking up into you. His heavy balls lightly slap against your ass with each thrust.
Your nails dig into his shoulder as the repetitive strokes start to build on one another. Small, whimpered expletives drip from your lips like a leaky faucet. He knows you're getting there. All he has to do is ramp up his efforts a little.
His hands lock around your waist like they do on hazy mornings. Just like then, he's obsessed with the way your skin dimples beneath his digits now. He boosts you back and starts bouncing you up and down in addition to his thrusts.
Your eyes roll back at the sensation and you take your bottom lip between your teeth. You don't have to do anything in this position still. He's strong enough to hold you upright all by himself. The only thing you had to do was like he said - stay still and let yourself be used.
"Can never get enough of you, baby, fuck," he grunts. His head falls back against the sagging cushion as he keeps working himself into you over and over. He glances back up at you slightly. "Is it feeling good?"
"Mhm," you whine, "So fuckin' good. So deep. All the way inside."
Your head bobbles around with the way he jerks you up and down on his lap. He smirks at your words and the airy way you say them.
"I know. I can see it," he responds, eyes flitting down to that faint and familiar bump. Evidence of his place inside you.
You only whimper in response. He drops you back down against his chest so one of his hands can slot against your center and rub your clit in fast, tight circles. The flickering feeling draws even more noises of pleasure from you.
The edge sneaks up on the both of you fast. You fall over it first. Your body spasms and seizes between his hands, but his strong grip is enough to keep you in place. For him, it explodes in a muted burst of ecstasy before burning into a brighter one. He wraps his arms around your smaller frame and keeps you flush against his sweaty skin as he fucks his load deep inside.
The both of you stay there while you come down. His chest puffs up and down with deep breaths. Even with all his exertion, his hand rubs soothing stripes along the column of your spine. You lie against him completely motionless, limp against the muscles of his chest. A little pleasure doll all for him to play with.
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